Vague

There is a faint whiff of the past in the air today. Like a gentle mist that hangs around on some days. The overbearing feeling that something of the past changed your life irrevocable. It gave you contentment that IT couldn't have been different. Or regret that IT wasn't better. A faint smell, not inhaled since long, but very very unforgettable. Of skin, of clothes, of the land and of familiarity. Sweet pain after a climax, the tinge of disappointment that it didn't last long and that it is now gone. Like a peak that was reached and the only journey forth is downwards.

Or perhaps, the past will overtake the present and crash into the future....

From the drafts in my gmail.
________________________

No one knows what its like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

No one knows what its like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies

But my dreams
They arent as empty
As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
Thats never free

No one knows what its like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you

No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through

But my dreams
They arent as empty
As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
Thats never free

When my fist clenches, crack it open
Before I use it and lose my cool
When I smile, tell me some bad news
Before I laugh and act like a fool

If I swallow anything evil
Put your finger down my throat
If I shiver, please give me a blanket
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat

No one knows what its like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

- Behind Blue Eyes
The Who

Thats Me In the Corner

One song that will always bind me to this city. No Friday night in Gurgaon was complete without Shiv playing this song, and the night rounded off by 'Romeo & Juliet', the bunch of romantic idiots that we all are. I will forget every pub, every disc, every other damn watering hole I have been to, but I won't forget any place that got this song, be it CNT in Gurgaon, or Blues in Connaught Place, Someplace Else in Kolkata, T-Oaks in Pune.

Shores

Drifting on the calm waters
From this shore to the other
Stopping at dark
for some warmth and life
I row...

And then there is the horizon
where the sky reflects the water
and merges
Where I want to be
Waiting for when

It will be time.

Wrote this more than two years back and now its time again for that unease. Time for some turbulence. Leaving shores to wander off once again. Another journey, other co-travellers, some still constant and strangely, the destination just as hazy as earlier. The pattern doesn't change much. Experiences do, immensely. How will it be this time?

Jab main chota baccha tha

She: i have to go to the dentist today evening. Got 3 cavities and getting a tooth removed.
Grahan laga hai.
Me: bachpan mein merese itni chocolate chura ke khayi uska jurmaana hai
She: chup be!

Every melody lulls into a drone...
Every conversation meanders into trivial exchanges...
Every story falls into a predictable sequence...
Every journey that follows a map finally leads nowhere...

When you give it too much time...

Writing anything after long and this is what comes up.